Monday, May 23, 2011

Killing Osama, Again!


Hello, yes. Who is calling?

Hello. Femi, wake up, are you still asleep?

Yes, can't you see what time it is? Why shouldn't I be asleep?

Ah, my friend, get up. How can you sleep at a time like this?

What happened, what time like this are we talking about?

You can't be serious, Femi. Don't tell me you can sleep at a momentous, historic time like this. I am dying of pure excitement. I could die now and go straight to heaven and feel very fulfilled. Femi, this is too good to be true. What! Don't tell me that you've not heard the good tiding?

Don't tell me that you woke me up to peddle your version of piety. Let me get back to my sleep. Some of us have to earn our daily bread.

Come on, man. Turn your TV on and see and hear the glorious news.

What, Jesus came back?

Don't be blasphemous, my friend. They got him!

Whom did they get? Who got whom?

Turn on the TV, Femi, and stop asking silly questions. CNN, BBC, FOX, al-Jazeera, Deutche Welle, France, China, Ghana, Burkina Faso, every television station in the world is running live commentaries, and you're sleeping. I am lucky that I have this satellite thing; I am switching channels like crazy.

I don't have a television, I told you that several times.

Yeah, I forgot you live your hermitic lifestyle. Now you have missed the biggest news of the century.

Come on, tell me now. They got whom?

It is now you want to know? American Special Forces have got their man...and in Pakistan, of all places.

I thought they always got their man. Whom did they get this time around?

Don't be daft, my friend. Who have they spent the past ten years searching for? Who is the world's Terrorist Numero Uno?

I would say Tony Blair or George Bush, Jr. Now, we can add King Sarkozy and maybe Emperor Obama.

You really think that this is funny or that it's time for wise-cracking?

No, I am not wise-cracking; those guys top my list of wanted terrorists.

Who cares about your puny and insignificant list? Who cares about any list you care to draw up?

So, now that you have managed to disturb my sleep, can you tell me what all the excitement is about?

Osama bin Laden is dead. He has been killed in Pakistan. He was killed in "Operation Geronimo" by the US SEALs in Abbottabad, near Islamabad.

Says who?

The news circulated for hours but now we have heard from the horse's mouth. President Obama just gave a speech at the White House. He has confirmed the deed. Wow, the man is good. The delivery was flawless. A real Commander in Chief! Do you know what Geronimo means?

How would I know and why should I care?

Geronimo is a Chiricahua Apache leader who resisted the US government policy to consolidate his people on reservations and led series of raids against Mexican and American settlements in the Southwest. Ah, I Googled it up, my friend.


For your information, the terrorist leader was killed in a lavish mansion near a huge military base. Americans are good, terribly good. We need their type of "can-do" spirit in Africa. Wow!


Is that all you have to say, hmmmm? Are you not going to join in the huge celebration? The world has seen the end of a mass murderer! Crowds have gathered and they are dancing around the White House and all the streets of America. America feels tall and proud as it rightly should. This is a good time to be an American.


Come on, Femi; learn to give credit where it is due. I know you don't like America, but at least on this occasion they did the world a tremendous good.


Why all the hmmmms, Femi?

I was just wondering how many times you can kill a man...


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