Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Feeling sorry for Nigerian Scammers

It is very difficult for me not to feel sorry for and angry at the sad parade of bush-league amateurs that call themselves scammers in Nigeria. There they are, a bunch of incompetent fools, wasting their time, resources, and energies writing stupid letters...



Let me start by introducing myself. I am Patrick K. W. Chan Executive Director & Chief financial Officer of Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have an obscured business proposal that will be of great benefit to you and me. It involves the transfer of funds and I need you to assist me in executing this business project from Hong Kong to your country. It involves the transfer of money. Everything concerning this transaction shall be legally done without hitch. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been successfully transferred into your account, we shall share in the ratio to be agreed by both of us. I shall furnish you with more information about this transfer operation immediately I receive a positive response from you.

I will appreciate your earliest response.

Kind Regards,
Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan]

...and getting measly peanuts for their efforts.

Occasionally, a few brainless morons, with more money than brain cells, respond to these obviously bogus letters and send the SOBs a few thousand dollars, laptops, and other pathetic stuff. These mindless idiots, apparently too befuddled by the sudden windfall, become instant Capitalist Niggers. Instead of investing (that word!) in productive ventures they will start splashing money around like they've got private mint at home. It does not take long for tongues to start wagging -- gossip is a favorite pastime of idle minds, and it has been perfected to scientific form in many parts of Africa. When eventually the arms of the law grab them, they are given a long stretch of jail terms since many African governments have at the instigation of the West passed legislation against these types of crimes. After all, crime does not pay, most especially when perpetrated by evil-minded black men against white people.

For these stupendously pathetic efforts and rewards the scammers succeeded in turning their country into a world-class pariah state. Holding a Nigerian passport has become a sentence to the long stretch of interrogation at border posts. People around the world now look at Nigerians with suspicion, contempt, and disdain.

Even Colin Powell, George W. Bush's secretary of state, chipped in. He famously called Nigeria a nation of scammers. We, of course, should pity that war criminal with absolutely no sense of shame, as he appeared not to have read his history well. This Uncle Tom and his criminal gang launched a colonial war of aggression that killed (who is counting?) Iraqis in order to steal their oil wealth. And he had the audacity to insult another country as being made up of thieves! I wonder what the scallywag thinks his nation's multinational corporations have been doing in the non-white world if not scamming the natives. I wonder whether the idiot has ever read the famous speech of another general, Smedley D. Butley: "War is a Racket."

Let's leave our inane Uncle Tom alone for a while.

As usual, the Western media, vigorously pursuing the agenda of their corporate bosses, come to town to bash Nigeria. From London through Paris to Washington and down under in Australia, Nigeria becomes the butt of jokes. Even talk-show hostess Oprah Winfrey has been recruited in the endeavor. Nigerians are portrayed as evil-minded people whose only desire in life is to swindle decent, innocent, Christian, God-fearing, hard-working, and honest white folks. But is this the reality? I shall tackle that issue another time.

Some Africans get defensive when white folks give their usual sanctimonious speeches about crimes and things. I do not. I suffer from no complex that would make me listen to the children of pirates, gun-boat diplomats, slavers, colonialists, and continent stealers giving me any lecture on morality. Since the dawn of time, as history bloodily attests, Euro-Americans have done nothing but steal, loot, plunder, and expropriate the resources of other people -- if only people will read! "Blessed is he that readeth." Revelation 1:3.


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